I used to be the girl who would never wait on a man. I would never stare at my phone, or worry what he thought of my dress, I was just me and proud of it. But men just want things to come easy, but in reality men are never easy to deal with. Sure to them they are as simple as an on and off switch, but to us women we know it's that simple mind that drives us up the wall the most.
Why do they not think or care like we do? I'm still trying to figure that one out. I guess the best answer is we are just made differently. The whole men are from mars and women are from venus thing must be it. I wonder why we are meant to be together when it is so hard to stay on the same page. I hate the fact I'm checking my phone every 5 second to see if he's online or refreshing my Facebook page over and over again to see if he has commented on anything. I mean who have I become?
I've become a wife who's desperately in love with her husband. I guess love does that to you. You care so much about that person that those little things drive you insane. You love a person so true and deep and when they don't do it the same way as you , it feels like they don't care.
The fact is, they do care. They care probably more than we could ever know. Men don't show a lot of emotions and when they do it's pretty amazing. Women, like me, should start reading in between the lines and realize they care in their own way. I have to stop treating my husband like he is me, because he's not. I'm so much more stylish. I have to know that he would die, protect and care for me like no other and that should be enough. So I will try to let it be enough and know once we are back in each others arms, he will show he cares in all the ways men were designed too -- physically. :)
|Photo Credit: Amy Elizabeth Studios|
I never thought I would be able to watch a complete play by play of my husband’s job on TV. Soldiers blowing up bombs on a daily basis and risking their lives for 365 days isn’t something you really want to see after your favorite show, Gossip Girl, ends at 9. But there he is, that young EOD technician steering the robot to the number one killer in America, the IED. I can’t help but imagine his face on so and so’s body joking around and laughing how they almost got their team killed, again. I try to think of when we laughed like that so long ago.
It’s in times like this where my mind drifts to the memory of his husky deep voice whispering he loves me as he kisses me on the forehead and says sweet dreams. I can still remember the sweet smell of his cologne on our pillow after he left for PT, before the sun shined over my eyelids. I can still hear the voices and commotion of other soldiers outside getting ready for another day of life in the Army.
I rolled over and moaned because I could never fall asleep after he leaves. “Cover your eyes babe,” he said as I grunted and threw the blankets over my head as the blazing light flickered on above my head. Why can’t he be organized and have things ready in the morning, just for once? I guess its part of his charm as a man.
It’s sad that I would give anything for that right now. To fight over the remote, argue over who’s turn it is to do the dishes or for the simple act of cleaning up after him. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than to just be next to him, right now, breathing in the same free American air.
I just want him back. Back in my life, living life along side with me and not living a million miles away in danger and sand. Miles of sand. But this is what I signed up for, this is my life and I’d do it all over again for the chance to say I do a million times more. He is my soul mate my other half; he’s my whole world. I can’t imagine how tough it is for him over there fighting in this war away from everything he knows and loves. I don’t know how he does it and puts up with me everyday at the same time. He’s pretty amazing I must say.
I only have to be patient just a little longer, which is defiantly not my strongest trait. Hell it’s not even a trait I have. Yet I have to stay strong each and everyday and put faith in God; that he will come home safe and love me just the same if not more. What an accomplishment we will have after this year apart. One I can be proud of and tell our children someday of how Mommy and Daddy made it and their love was stronger than ever. I can’t wait for that day.