Have you ever waited on a man?

11.20.2008

Do's and Don'ts of friend triangles

Boy 1 has been your best guy friend for a long time. You have always just been friends. Now boy 2 comes along who is best friends with boy 1. Girl 1 likes boy 2 and they form a little duet for some time. Boy 1 gets angry and it almost causes permanent damage to both friendships. 

Question? 

Do your friends have the right to go after your friends? How would you feel if your best friend went after your best guy friend? What if it didn't work out and one of them got hurt?

 It makes sense that you might want to look there, I mean where else would you be meeting people, the bar? I hear all the time that couples meet through mutual friends. Yet I think this situation could work, but it all depends on how close they are. It can cause serious strain to friendships when two of your friends start dating each other and you are caught in the middle.

It can start out simple and easy. It doesn't affect anyone, but when things go sour that's where trouble begins. Then it becomes awkward when the three of you are around each other and it almost becomes like a divorce. 

You have to spend time with boy 2 on this day and girl 1 on that day. I never realized how it could complicate someone else's life. 

So there is a definite thought process when deciding you like boy 1's friends. Let's just say there are definite do's and don'ts when it comes to these situations. 

Do's
1. DO make sure the guy you like is worth it. DO a little research before you just go throwing yourself at someone who could cause you a lot of grief later. 
2. If you decide he's worth it then DO ask your friend who introduced you if it would be ok to go after them. They could give you some great insight or just be mad that you even asked. In that case you know what you should do. 
3. DO take it slow. Don't just hook up with them the first night only to realize you probably would not have even made it through a second date with them. 
4. DO make sure he doesn't have a girlfriend already or that the ex isn't at the same place you are. That could turn into a cat fight no one wants to watch. 
5. DO realize that if things don't work out you could end up messing up your already great friendship. Be sure it's a risk you are willing to take. 


Don'ts
1. DON'T be the girl who hooks up with everyones friends. It's unattractive and in the future no one will take you seriously. 
2. DON'T be sneaky and think no one will find out about you guys. It's better to be open and honest than to risk hurting the people who care about you guys. 
3. DON'T trust him right away. Remember just because your friend is a sweetheart and gentleman, doesn't mean his friends are. 
4. DON'T put your friend in the middle of it. If you going through your mutual friend to handle your own problems with the relationship you could both be out on your butts. It's a stressful situation that no one wants to be in. 
5. DON'T make things awkward if it doesn't work out. Keep your cool if you end up at the same parties or bars, just remember you took that risk and now you lay in the bed you have made. 

Hope this helps, I know I could have used this advice one or twice in my life. Have a good Thanksgiving all! 

Live your life,

Andi


11.13.2008

11.06.2008

Friends with benefits?

Can it really be done?

Sometimes I really wonder if there has ever been a successful friends with benefits relationship that has worked out. There isn't really a beginning or an end and without emotional attachment it's supposed to be easy right?

It never is though and the best idea is to stay away from it. It usually just causes problems and usually one person is more into it than the other. The only time it's really a good thing is when the two friends both don't want relationships and they know that nothing will come out of it other than a physical relationship.

But do people really want just that? No emotion or feelings between you and a boy? That doesn't sound like fun. Half the fun of having a boy is wondering how he feels, the heart thump you get when he calls or texts you, or the feeling you get when he's holding you tight. Who would want to give that up just for a little physical interaction?

Some people do though and it works for them. It's all they need to satisfy that gap in their life. I wish the situation was easier, but the truth is we all want someone to care about us, even if it's just a small gesture like holding our hand.

Live your life,

Andi

11.02.2008

Losing Your First Love


#4 The High School Sweetheart

We met on my cheer-leading team; how ironic is that? He, the adolescent smart-ass wrestler and football player, was dating a young, new cheerleader and I was the older, popular Senior Captain. He thought I had it all and I still can't figure out why he ever loved me.

If I had known then that this boy would change my life and become a part of me forever, I probably would have laughed for 23 minutes at the thought. He was just a boy back then and to see him now, as this evolved, strong young man, I literally have to catch my breath to take it all in.

Oh your first love. No one EVER forgets their first love. I hear it so many times. It's the situation now where two people meet in high school and stay together for years, way into college and then end up falling apart. Most of the time it's a one sided feeling and the other half is crushed when the end comes out of left field.

I feel for both sides and I have been there myself. So rather then give you advice about your first love, I'll just have to tell my story and hope it helps all of you out there. I hope it helps those people who are the ones who have given their all and loved their boyfriend or girlfriend with their whole heart, only to find out after years of servitude and loyalty, that person doesn't love them anymore.

I hope this helps the people who have let's say, "lost their love," and as hard as they try can't piece back together what they once had. It's so hard and so emotional to go through the break-ups and the hard times, only to end up miserable and heart-broken in the end.

I'm sorry I couldn't fix my own love, but all I know is this, "It is better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all."

I believe that with my whole heart and so this story begins.

To Be Continued ...

Model: Iza Olivia
Photo: Andi Rothwell

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