All the single ladies

Oh yes, completely single again. Valentines Day was just a celebration for single girls around the world, especially at the local bar I went to with my friends that night. They prowled in around 12:00 am and looked about as happy as a cat being skinned. Seriously. My friend and I received countless haunting glances from the young 21-year-old girls because we actually had smiles on our faces. Now of course I wasn't super happy inside that night. I got dumped that week, rejected by another guy who was getting over his ex, and felt as alone as someone could feel on this night. But I held my head up high and was determined to not stay in and watch chick flicks and feel sorry for myself.

I finally feel like being single can be a good thing. I'm focused on school and my career and not worried about anyone else. It's not so bad thinking about myself all the time. Being single doesn't mean I won't go on a date or not grab love when it happens, just that I won't worry about finding someone. I embrace the once dreaded word (single) now and am happy just going out with my friends and doing my own thing.

Of course thats when the comedian Greg Behrendt said is the perfect time for someone to come and fuck it all up. He is the writer of "He's just not that into you" and he finally opened my eyes to things I never understood before.

1. Why women think bad men are good

Because other women tell you that a friend of a cousins friends boyfriend cheated on them but now they are happily married. We have got to stop making excuses for what guys do when they aren't interested. Face it, if a guy doesn't call, cheats on you, ignores you or treats you like shit, then he's not worth it and move on.

2. Don't get married until you are ready or without being 100% sure.

I already knew this one, but it seems a lot of other women don't. It's probably something not on our young minds, but in the back of our head I would say we all think "could I marry this person?" I'm only 22 and I've been proposed to once and almost proposed to another time. So I would say I'm glad I already knew this rule and unserstand that marriage is the biggest deal in the world for me. Something I will never rush into. Probably the only thing I don't rush into.

3. Guys are giving us signs when they don't call, text, or email.

I know it seems like an obvious thing and we should all realize it, but guys have this sneaky way of still keeping you around without doing the work. They might not call or text today, but then a couple days go by and there they are again. Reasons: "Oh I have been busy, I texted you ... you didn't get it?" Or I've experienced the " Oh well you didn't come out and say you wanted to hang out?" I guess girls are supposed to do all the chasing but then we are crazy when do it.

Well I'd like to say I have learned a lot. I have, really. Truth is I have learned so much and I still can't spot the guys who just are not for me. Now that I can read these signs better I think it will be easier to realize HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO ME :)

Live your life,

Andi

Photo by Jennifer Rose

Being second

Most people in life fall in love at least once. That head over heels kind of love that makes you wake up and go to sleep thinking of only them. The kind of love that makes your heat skip beats when you kiss and the kind of love that makes responsibilities go out the window when you're sitting next to each other watching something ridiculous on tv. The kind of love that I think only exists in the books I read. 

It's kind of hard to describe that love when I've never really had it. I mean I have had those feelings when I first meet someone, but eventually it fades, reality sets in and they just never seem to give me that feeling again. 

I wish I could have had that in my life, just once. Then I could understand why a guy treats me as his second best. I could figure out why they can't get let go and why I'm never enough or why he's never enough. It's amazing to witness that love between other people, but the only love I've ever known has been the love that has grown. A boy I loved, but not in the way your supposed to love. My second best has always been him, even though I've never found my first. 

Then I could sit here and be patient and guarded when I start seeing someone. I could be the one to say I want to take things slow because I find it hard to open up again. I have learned to be guarded anyways, but because of all my failed attempts at trying to fall in love. 

Maybe the secret is you just have to wait. It will come along as long as your patient and take things slow, but how in the hell do you do that? I can't help wanting that first love even if I know it's going to leave me someday. 

I just know that I can't be second. I want to come first to someone and hold their attention and I want to feel that way about them. It's not hard for me to put someone else's feelings first, I've been doing it my whole life. I guess there comes a day when you have to start being selfish and stop caring about other people. I guess today is that day. 

I refuse to be someone's second. Don't ever settle people, it gets you no where and it leaves your heart scarred and battered just trying to make someone love you. It doesn't work that way unfortunately, as I have learned, so just be yourself and hope for the best. Don't do things unless you really want to and for once just think about what you want. If you don't succeed, then dust yourself off and try again. :)

Live your life, 

Andi