Trust and the Truth

I know many couples or even single people who have a hard time trusting someone. I used to say you should give someone all your trust until you have a reason not to. I don't think that's true anymore because as we all get older we have been through many different relationships with people whom we can not in fact trust. It can be very difficult to let go of those caution signs that our etched into us.

The best kind of relationship you can have is one that is open and honest. A relationship that is based on trust. Once you break it, it becomes harder and harder to get it back. I've caught men in thier lies, but I have also lied. I have not trusted men and they have not trusted me because hey, I wasn't really that trustworthy. Not many people are these days.

When you meet someone new, you kind of get to start over. It's like fresh cut grass; even though there's still the roots and layers of what you have done in the past, you get to start fresh with a new man. You can choose to tell him all about your past or pick and choose what he really needs to know.                               

It's important to understand you don't want to omit things that need to be shared. For example, if he wants to know if you have cheated on someone before and you have, a good answer would be yes. If he's asking what kind of boys you dated, give him the short list. He doesn't need to hear how many jocks you were with or all those bad boys who sucked at relationships, but were fabulous in bed.You know what kind of mistakes you made and what you learned from them. As long as you know that now and he does, the rest gets lost in the past.

If you're still dating this guy after you both have thrown all your dirty laundry out on the table, then you have to keep that trust and that can be hard. It may take a long time to find someone who is going to like you for all that you are, baggage included and with the extra fees, but it does happen.

For one thing, it's hard to leave your worries behind. I know personally how hard it is to forget how your ex treated you and how that guy was such a jerk, but if you don't also start the slate clean for a new guy how can you expect him to do the same for you? With every relationship there comes a risk. Depending on the man, it's either a low risk or a high risk. What are you willing to risk to find happiness?

I usually go for the high risk ones. I don't know why they just seem to follow me and that's where I get in a situation where I literally have to let go of all my worries and trust in my heart. If he hurts me, and most of the time he will, then oh well. At least I gave it a shot. If he doesn't, well then I'm a lucky girl indeed.

It's not a good idea to get caught up in worrying if it won't work out. You could spend days stressing about, "does he really like me?" Set your own rules and stick by them as much as you can. Eventually the right man will come along. I believe this with my whole heart, the right one, after all the wrong, will come along . Now to know if you're ready? That's something you have to figure out yourself. Good luck and trust in yourself before anyone else.

Live your life,

Andi

photo by Jennifer Rose Photography