Reading the subtext of text

With technology getting more advanced every day, or heck every hour, I wonder how it will affect our relationships in the future. How will it affect the way we communicate, the way we plan events, the way we show love and the way we live?

Right now you can practically meet, talk, date, fall in love and get married all online. Sometimes technology can be a great thing to have in a relationship. I know instant messages, skype and webcam are precious tools to keep long ditance realtionships going. I mean writing a letter is just so last century these days. Even though it's great to be able to keep in touch this way, it presents a series of problems that don't happen in everyday relationships.

The major problem with technolgy in relationships is it takes away the personal touch of everything we do. Of course you can't physically hug or kiss someone via text, but you can send them pictures with a kissy face through your phone. You can email videos of how much you love them or what your wearing to bed tonight ... Even though it's better to get a typed message than nothing at all, the problem with communicating through a screen is misreading all the signals. It's already hard enough to read them in person. 

A simple hello can have multiple meanings just by how you type it. Hey could be, "I'm in a normal mood,"  hola, "I'm feeling exotic today," whats up, "I'm laid back" or hi, which could mean "I'm about to rip your face off with my harsh words sent through the web at lightning speed." The way you read it isn't always how they meant to write it. If they were saying it out loud it would probably be a lot different than what they typed. Facebook is also not the way to A) find out important information, B) say I love you or C) Bicker back and forth about who's writing on your wall.

Be careful with technology in your relationship. Even a phone call is better than a text sometimes. Yet it's awesome when a man can open up and tell you things in an email or text that he would never be able to say out loud. Technology can be a blessing and a curse, but if you keep a good balance it can only help your relationship. Plus, don't you love it when that time you check their Facebook for the 50th time they wrote some little sweet encrypted message of how much they love you?

Live your life,
Andi

Trust and the Truth

I know many couples or even single people who have a hard time trusting someone. I used to say you should give someone all your trust until you have a reason not to. I don't think that's true anymore because as we all get older we have been through many different relationships with people whom we can not in fact trust. It can be very difficult to let go of those caution signs that our etched into us.

The best kind of relationship you can have is one that is open and honest. A relationship that is based on trust. Once you break it, it becomes harder and harder to get it back. I've caught men in thier lies, but I have also lied. I have not trusted men and they have not trusted me because hey, I wasn't really that trustworthy. Not many people are these days.

When you meet someone new, you kind of get to start over. It's like fresh cut grass; even though there's still the roots and layers of what you have done in the past, you get to start fresh with a new man. You can choose to tell him all about your past or pick and choose what he really needs to know.                               

It's important to understand you don't want to omit things that need to be shared. For example, if he wants to know if you have cheated on someone before and you have, a good answer would be yes. If he's asking what kind of boys you dated, give him the short list. He doesn't need to hear how many jocks you were with or all those bad boys who sucked at relationships, but were fabulous in bed.You know what kind of mistakes you made and what you learned from them. As long as you know that now and he does, the rest gets lost in the past.

If you're still dating this guy after you both have thrown all your dirty laundry out on the table, then you have to keep that trust and that can be hard. It may take a long time to find someone who is going to like you for all that you are, baggage included and with the extra fees, but it does happen.

For one thing, it's hard to leave your worries behind. I know personally how hard it is to forget how your ex treated you and how that guy was such a jerk, but if you don't also start the slate clean for a new guy how can you expect him to do the same for you? With every relationship there comes a risk. Depending on the man, it's either a low risk or a high risk. What are you willing to risk to find happiness?

I usually go for the high risk ones. I don't know why they just seem to follow me and that's where I get in a situation where I literally have to let go of all my worries and trust in my heart. If he hurts me, and most of the time he will, then oh well. At least I gave it a shot. If he doesn't, well then I'm a lucky girl indeed.

It's not a good idea to get caught up in worrying if it won't work out. You could spend days stressing about, "does he really like me?" Set your own rules and stick by them as much as you can. Eventually the right man will come along. I believe this with my whole heart, the right one, after all the wrong, will come along . Now to know if you're ready? That's something you have to figure out yourself. Good luck and trust in yourself before anyone else.

Live your life,

Andi

photo by Jennifer Rose Photography