Missing my Soldier

Photo Credit: Amy Elizabeth Studios

I never thought I would be able to watch a complete play by play of my husband’s job on TV. Soldiers blowing up bombs on a daily basis and risking their lives for 365 days isn’t something you really want to see after your favorite show, Gossip Girl, ends at 9. But there he is, that young EOD technician steering the robot to the number one killer in America, the IED. I can’t help but imagine his face on so and so’s body joking around and laughing how they almost got their team killed, again. I try to think of when we laughed like that so long ago.

 It’s in times like this where my mind drifts to the memory of his husky deep voice whispering he loves me as he kisses me on the forehead and says sweet dreams. I can still remember the sweet smell of his cologne on our pillow after he left for PT, before the sun shined over my eyelids.  I can still hear the voices and commotion of other soldiers outside getting ready for another day of life in the Army.

I rolled over and moaned because I could never fall asleep after he leaves. “Cover your eyes babe,” he said as I grunted and threw the blankets over my head as the blazing light flickered on above my head. Why can’t he be organized and have things ready in the morning, just for once? I guess its part of his charm as a man.

It’s sad that I would give anything for that right now. To fight over the remote, argue over who’s turn it is to do the dishes or for the simple act of cleaning up after him.  I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than to just be next to him, right now, breathing in the same free American air.

I just want him back. Back in my life, living life along side with me and not living a million miles away in danger and sand. Miles of sand. But this is what I signed up for, this is my life and I’d do it all over again for the chance to say I do a million times more. He is my soul mate my other half; he’s my whole world. I can’t imagine how tough it is for him over there fighting in this war away from everything he knows and loves. I don’t know how he does it and puts up with me everyday at the same time. He’s pretty amazing I must say.

I only have to be patient just a little longer, which is defiantly not my strongest trait. Hell it’s not even a trait I have. Yet I have to stay strong each and everyday and put faith in God; that he will come home safe and love me just the same if not more. What an accomplishment we will have after this year apart. One I can be proud of and tell our children someday of how Mommy and Daddy made it and their love was stronger than ever. I can’t wait for that day.

Live Life,

Mrs. K

Out of sight, out of mind?

Being married is amazing. Having someone to come home to, trying to cook new meals together and watching countless movies are some of my favorite perks. Now there are always ups and downs in every relationship, but what happens when your other half leaves you for 365 days?

Not many people have to spend too many days apart from their significant other, but for military wives, girlfriends and their families days alone are just a part of their everyday life. Taking the trash out, paying the bills, fixing the car and keeping the house clean are just some of my everyday chores. I used to have my husband here to help me, but he's off fighting a war and will not be back for quite some time. Crap.

Being apart is tougher than you think. Sure he can call once a month, or try and Skype me whenever he can get to a computer,  or chat with me online for a quick 20 minutes and then I don't know when I'll hear from him again. It takes a strong couple to be able to be apart for that long and still stay in love and keep each other happy. I have learned a lot during this year that has fast forwarded my relationship to a deeper level where we are stronger than ever. Think of every problem you have ever had with a man and just pretend he isn't there right now in person for you to fix it. It's a whole new playing field now. You have to learn to fight, love and make up without seeing or hearing the person.

Here are some tips I have found to help you stay connected with your man when he's not around. Just know it can never be as bad as living without him for a year. So take it one day at a time.

Chatting Online- This is probably my number one way to communicate with my husband right now. It's hard because I can't hear tone or his laughter and reading his words is a heck of a lot different than hearing it in person with his facial expressions. Just remember to breathe, reread and know they probably don't mean it the way it sounds.

Phone Convo's-  A much better way to stay in contact when you can. Hearing their voice can soothe a lot of issues over fast and easy. Just make sure to be patient and listen. Don't make it a one way conversation.

Skype Sessions- Now it's hard to do for us in the Military because there is about 10 other guys hearing and watching you Skype with your lady, but it is a great feeling to see their face. Try and just make it as normal as possible. If you have a laptop it's great to show them around or new things that might take eyes to see.

Emails aka Love letters- I do love me some long drawn out romantic emails. I can go back and read them whenever I'm feeling lonely or sad. His words make me feel the love and attention I need and it makes me remember why we are so great together.

Packages of Love- A great way to connect and show you care is to send something to each other. If you can't be together, the next best thing is having something that the person you loved picked out just for you to show you they love you.


Live life,


Mrs. K

Being second

Most people in life fall in love at least once. That head over heels kind of love that makes you wake up and go to sleep thinking of only them. The kind of love that makes your heat skip beats when you kiss and the kind of love that makes responsibilities go out the window when you're sitting next to each other watching something ridiculous on tv. The kind of love that I think only exists in the books I read. 

It's kind of hard to describe that love when I've never really had it. I mean I have had those feelings when I first meet someone, but eventually it fades, reality sets in and they just never seem to give me that feeling again. 

I wish I could have had that in my life, just once. Then I could understand why a guy treats me as his second best. I could figure out why they can't get let go and why I'm never enough or why he's never enough. It's amazing to witness that love between other people, but the only love I've ever known has been the love that has grown. A boy I loved, but not in the way your supposed to love. My second best has always been him, even though I've never found my first. 

Then I could sit here and be patient and guarded when I start seeing someone. I could be the one to say I want to take things slow because I find it hard to open up again. I have learned to be guarded anyways, but because of all my failed attempts at trying to fall in love. 

Maybe the secret is you just have to wait. It will come along as long as your patient and take things slow, but how in the hell do you do that? I can't help wanting that first love even if I know it's going to leave me someday. 

I just know that I can't be second. I want to come first to someone and hold their attention and I want to feel that way about them. It's not hard for me to put someone else's feelings first, I've been doing it my whole life. I guess there comes a day when you have to start being selfish and stop caring about other people. I guess today is that day. 

I refuse to be someone's second. Don't ever settle people, it gets you no where and it leaves your heart scarred and battered just trying to make someone love you. It doesn't work that way unfortunately, as I have learned, so just be yourself and hope for the best. Don't do things unless you really want to and for once just think about what you want. If you don't succeed, then dust yourself off and try again. :)

Live your life, 

Andi

Friends with benefits?

Can it really be done?

Sometimes I really wonder if there has ever been a successful friends with benefits relationship that has worked out. There isn't really a beginning or an end and without emotional attachment it's supposed to be easy right?

It never is though and the best idea is to stay away from it. It usually just causes problems and usually one person is more into it than the other. The only time it's really a good thing is when the two friends both don't want relationships and they know that nothing will come out of it other than a physical relationship.

But do people really want just that? No emotion or feelings between you and a boy? That doesn't sound like fun. Half the fun of having a boy is wondering how he feels, the heart thump you get when he calls or texts you, or the feeling you get when he's holding you tight. Who would want to give that up just for a little physical interaction?

Some people do though and it works for them. It's all they need to satisfy that gap in their life. I wish the situation was easier, but the truth is we all want someone to care about us, even if it's just a small gesture like holding our hand.

Live your life,

Andi

Losing Your First Love

#4 The High School Sweetheart

We met on my cheer-leading team; how ironic is that? He, the adolescent smart-ass wrestler and football player, was dating a young, new cheerleader and I was the older, popular Senior Captain. He thought I had it all and I still can't figure out why he ever loved me.

If I had known then that this boy would change my life and become a part of me forever, I probably would have laughed for 23 minutes at the thought. He was just a boy back then and to see him now, as this evolved, strong young man, I literally have to catch my breath to take it all in.

Oh your first love. No one EVER forgets their first love. I hear it so many times. It's the situation now where two people meet in high school and stay together for years, way into college and then end up falling apart. Most of the time it's a one sided feeling and the other half is crushed when the end comes out of left field.

I feel for both sides and I have been there myself. So rather then give you advice about your first love, I'll just have to tell my story and hope it helps all of you out there. I hope it helps those people who are the ones who have given their all and loved their boyfriend or girlfriend with their whole heart, only to find out after years of servitude and loyalty, that person doesn't love them anymore.

I hope this helps the people who have let's say, "lost their love," and as hard as they try can't piece back together what they once had. It's so hard and so emotional to go through the break-ups and the hard times, only to end up miserable and heart-broken in the end.

I'm sorry I couldn't fix my own love, but all I know is this, "It is better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all."

I believe that with my whole heart and so this story begins.

To Be Continued ...

Model: Iza Olivia

Photo: Andi Rothwell

Balancing Boys

Balance, Let's see ... classes on M, W, and F; work on T, Th, F, Sat and Sun; then an attempt at homework every night except Saturday; (That's reserved night to go dancing with my girls) now when do I find time for a boy? 

Maybe at  3 a.m. when I'm drunk and micro-waving popcorn? And yes that's my dinner. 

Most of you in college or life in general usually don't have time for much.  When you do have a night of freedom it's usually spent with your friends getting hammered, chasing after your latest crush/goal, or just staying in relaxing, unless you have a boyfriend or girlfriend. 

Being in a new relationship flips your life upside down. Sometimes it's for the better, and sometimes it's just a hassle you don't need in your hectic life. Well, not yet anyways. I'm not saying being in a relationship is bad. If you have one that works and is exactly what you want, then disregard everything I am saying. 

For the rest, when someone tells you they can't be in a relationship right now or they don't want one, believe them. Know that it might not even mean they don't want you, but that they don't want what comes with the relationship. 

Balancing relationships, a hook up or crush is difficult. When you do make the time for someone in your life, it better be worth it. That time is precious and whoever occupies that time should mean something.  

Don't waste time on someone who's not willing to do the same for you. If a guy says he doesn't want a relationship, but still wants to date you, it might not be so bad. Calling someone your girlfriend or boyfriend is just a title, a label. It doesn't define what you have with someone, you can figure it out on  your own terms.

Now, back to balancing. 

These are some tips I have learned and gathered on the way to balancing your life with a new crush, hook up, or boyfriend. It's important to remember that just because you really like them, they're hot, and look really good in those fitted jeans that hang off their waist, doesn't mean you give up your life for them. 

1. Don't cancel plans or routine's you do on a daily basis to be with him. If you don't keep your workout schedule he won't want you anyways. :) 

2. Don't blow off responsibilities. Skipping work, forgetting you had to babysit your little brother last night, or that you had to help your friend out with her mid-term project is not ok. He'll understand you have responsibilities and might like some space for himself too. 

3. Don't forget your friend's. I can't say this enough, KEEP YOU FRIEND'S! It is so important to maintain the relationships you already have.  A new boy is just that, a new boy. Those friends have been there for you when you were single and alone, remember that when you think about ditching them for the new guy.

4. Plan dates at certain times and places. Don't just ask to do something last minute. It starts to become a habit and then your spending so much time with them you don't even realize it. Make dates and spread them out. This isn't a marathon and balance is key to any relationship, including friends and family.

5. Make time for yourself. I know you want to see him, even as your reading this, but you have to breathe take a step back and be confident that the time he spends with you is all he needs to like you. Too much time and he will lose interest, too little he won't think your interested. Stay home, watch a movie, read a book, just enjoy a little time for yourself too. 

So balance is important and can help anyone who is struggling with their overpowering feelings for someone. If you remember that you have your own life too and that if this new boy doesn't work out then you still have something to go back to. 

Oh boys, twenty three boys, or 59, 37, 334, whatever it is, there isn't enough in this world to satisfy us WOMEN. See you next time, next problem, next stupid boy.

Link in for me :)

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Alexa

Best and Worst Pet names 2008

"Come here my little piggly wiggly!"

"What are you up to today pooh-bear?"

Oh yeah, they're real. Loving couples actually call each other these names. I don't know why we tend to feel that we have to call our significant other anything but their real name, but something in our tongues, perhaps a tingly wiggly feeling, makes us utter ridiculous, multiple syllable pet names. Don't we have enough to remember, like to bring my lunch to work today?

Some of us, who can form tender, cute nicknames, come up with beautiful substitutes. Maybe because our significant other has a boring name that SUCKS. It's acceptable to have a nickname as long as it ... A) doesn't make you jump behind a bush when exiting the crowded Park Street train station, B) make you believe you should have been reincarnated as an animal, and C) think you should have been baked instead of born.

I've rounded up the top 10 Best and Worst pet names for our generation and would love you out there to add any if you can. They will make you laugh, cry (because you know you called your boyfriend that yesterday), and maybe make you want to tell your beloved friends to seriously cut that shit out and offer them a new one.

Oh you twenty three boys, how you have offered me so much yet so little. I had to get some help on these ones! :) Until next situation, or later this week, I am out.

Best Pet Names 2008

1. Sweetie- can't go wrong with this one.

2. Sweetheart- Every woman likes hearts.

3. Baby girl- One of my personal favorites. I almost feel like I'm a ghetto superstar.

4. Beautiful- Classic and effective.

5. Hollywood- You boys love to feel like you're on top of the world. Perfect for a macho macho man.

6. Rock star- Everyone can at least play guitar hero, this makes them feel like they have a fan base.

7. Princess- Now all we need is all your money and we will be all set.

8. Honey- Not too shabby, but don't say it in a whiney voice. Could be taken as , "Honey! Where did you get those shoes!" This is for couples, not gay friends, Lo Siento. :)

9. Bonita- Come on anything in a different language is hot.

10. Sexy- since the era of Justin Timberlake this pet name will always be bringing it back.

Worst Pet Names 2008 ( Might have more to come)

1. Monkey- Do we have hair all over our bodies? If you do, stop reading and please attend to necessary errands.

2. Wifey/Hubby- I know you guys are in love and you feel like you're on cloud 9. Stop, it won't last long and unless you really are married, lets stick with boyfriend and girlfriend.

3. Muffin/Strawberry/Peach (Pretty much any fruit or anything edible)- No I don't want to be eaten or be topped with whip cream; whole different topic.

4. Momo (Short for moron)/Riri short for retard)- Oh yes I know these well. It almost sounds cute when you say it out loud, then you think about what it means, unless you really fit the description.

5. Pumpkin- I am not Cinderella nor will I ever be. I'm a brunette, geez.

6. Chickie- I was not born in a coup, neither were you unless your previous nickname was hen. In that case I feel deeply for you.

7. Darling- Again this list is for 2008. If this was the 50's this would have made the Best list. Since it is not, nix it.

8. Any other name besides yours- A common mistake I'm sure. Mostly in bed?

9. G / F or B / F (Not to be pronounced as boyfriend or girlfriend but the actual letters)-Got to cut back on the texting lingo, we all have names!

10. Pudge- I'm serious, I owe it all to my favorite ex and I'm not fat, I swear.

Oh boys, twenty three boys, or 59, 37, 334, whatever it is, there isn't enough in this world to satisfy us WOMEN. See you next time, next problem, next stupid boy.