Best and Worst Pet names 2008

"Come here my little piggly wiggly!"

"What are you up to today pooh-bear?"

Oh yeah, they're real. Loving couples actually call each other these names. I don't know why we tend to feel that we have to call our significant other anything but their real name, but something in our tongues, perhaps a tingly wiggly feeling, makes us utter ridiculous, multiple syllable pet names. Don't we have enough to remember, like to bring my lunch to work today?

Some of us, who can form tender, cute nicknames, come up with beautiful substitutes. Maybe because our significant other has a boring name that SUCKS. It's acceptable to have a nickname as long as it ... A) doesn't make you jump behind a bush when exiting the crowded Park Street train station, B) make you believe you should have been reincarnated as an animal, and C) think you should have been baked instead of born.

I've rounded up the top 10 Best and Worst pet names for our generation and would love you out there to add any if you can. They will make you laugh, cry (because you know you called your boyfriend that yesterday), and maybe make you want to tell your beloved friends to seriously cut that shit out and offer them a new one.

Oh you twenty three boys, how you have offered me so much yet so little. I had to get some help on these ones! :) Until next situation, or later this week, I am out.

Best Pet Names 2008

1. Sweetie- can't go wrong with this one.

2. Sweetheart- Every woman likes hearts.

3. Baby girl- One of my personal favorites. I almost feel like I'm a ghetto superstar.

4. Beautiful- Classic and effective.

5. Hollywood- You boys love to feel like you're on top of the world. Perfect for a macho macho man.

6. Rock star- Everyone can at least play guitar hero, this makes them feel like they have a fan base.

7. Princess- Now all we need is all your money and we will be all set.

8. Honey- Not too shabby, but don't say it in a whiney voice. Could be taken as , "Honey! Where did you get those shoes!" This is for couples, not gay friends, Lo Siento. :)

9. Bonita- Come on anything in a different language is hot.

10. Sexy- since the era of Justin Timberlake this pet name will always be bringing it back.

Worst Pet Names 2008 ( Might have more to come)

1. Monkey- Do we have hair all over our bodies? If you do, stop reading and please attend to necessary errands.

2. Wifey/Hubby- I know you guys are in love and you feel like you're on cloud 9. Stop, it won't last long and unless you really are married, lets stick with boyfriend and girlfriend.

3. Muffin/Strawberry/Peach (Pretty much any fruit or anything edible)- No I don't want to be eaten or be topped with whip cream; whole different topic.

4. Momo (Short for moron)/Riri short for retard)- Oh yes I know these well. It almost sounds cute when you say it out loud, then you think about what it means, unless you really fit the description.

5. Pumpkin- I am not Cinderella nor will I ever be. I'm a brunette, geez.

6. Chickie- I was not born in a coup, neither were you unless your previous nickname was hen. In that case I feel deeply for you.

7. Darling- Again this list is for 2008. If this was the 50's this would have made the Best list. Since it is not, nix it.

8. Any other name besides yours- A common mistake I'm sure. Mostly in bed?

9. G / F or B / F (Not to be pronounced as boyfriend or girlfriend but the actual letters)-Got to cut back on the texting lingo, we all have names!

10. Pudge- I'm serious, I owe it all to my favorite ex and I'm not fat, I swear.

Oh boys, twenty three boys, or 59, 37, 334, whatever it is, there isn't enough in this world to satisfy us WOMEN. See you next time, next problem, next stupid boy.

Nice guys who finish last

Here I am again. The same place and scene. I met another "nice" boy. You know, the ones who are legit perfect, and I mean PERFECT. The ones who hold doors, bring you flowers, sweep you off your feet kind of perfect. Here I am again and I can't seem to accept perfect.

It's true when people say girls want assholes. We try to deny that statement, but it doesn't change the fact that it is completely true. We all want excitement and passion in our lives, well at least I do. I don't want to know he's at home watching TV, or out with his best friend, or that if I say come over it's exactly what he does. Come on, where's the mystery?

"No, I swear, I want a nice guy who treats me like a princess and gives me the world." It's a girls dream to have a guy who would do anything for her, put her above all else, and make her feel like she is walking on air. But how much fun is that? Try zero.

How about when that hot guy gets your phone number and then you have to sit and wait for him to call? At the time you might feel frustration, glancing at your phone every minute wondering when an unknown number will flash on your sidekick. When he finally does call your heart can't stop pounding from all the anticipation. Then you do it all over again the next day.

It's a classic scenario these days. I want to say he's perfect and that's good enough for me, but I just can't. For some unknown reason I want him to be a jerk sometimes, tease me a little, get me riled up. Life is so much better when it's unpredictable. I want to live as safely and dangerously as I can. I want the best of both worlds, but is there such a thing?

I have everything I want, yet still want more. Why can't us girls just be happy with what we have? I'm sure as hell going to try. I want my perfect man, because one day he might just surprise me and be nothing but imperfect. Flaws are actually kind of sexy and I'm sure they are hidden somewhere.

Oh boys, twenty three boys, or 59, 37, 334, whatever it is, there isn't enough in this world to satisfy us WOMEN. See you next time, next problem, next stupid boy.

Making the first move

Making the first move ...

You catch his eye, but look away. It's there, that initial attraction to that stupid, shy, insecure boy who has no idea how to say a two-letter word: Hi. It takes about two hours for him to walk by you, then another hour to brush by you. Either someone finally introduces you, or you might comment on that drunk person dancing on the table making a fool of themselves and you chuckle secretly relieved it wasn't you this week.


The first move. I know, I know, it must be the worst thing you boys ever have to do in your life, but seriously the outcome will be worth it. It's pretty easy to read a girl, well most girls, and it just takes one word to get someone's attention. If you're a "not cute" boy then sorry, you might not get the attention. Don't worry it happens to girls too and more than you think.


For most intelligent, nice, cute boys this method usually works. Please boys tell me why is it so hard to say hello. Not just hello, but asking for numbers, names, where you live, you know those common things people might want to infer about that gorgeous person across the room.


Point is, make the first move. I'm not saying it always has to be on you, but at least make the effort. Women will appreciate it, if done correctly, and you might just meet a pretty cool person. Hey, you just never know.


Ladies don't forget to step it up too, it's the 21st century and it's about time we all get with it.

Oh boys, twenty three boys, or 59, 37, 334, whatever it is, there isn't enough in this world to satisfy us WOMEN. See you next time, next problem, next stupid boy.