Family!

Having a loving and caring family is a blessing; being able to share that with the one you love is priceless. I was lucky enough to spend the entire weekend with my family, who flew in from Georgia, and even though it was short lived, it was still a blast. We stayed up late, laughed until our insides hurt and just had the chance to be around each other, which meant the world to me.

Family is important to a lot of people and it's equally important in a relationship. Understanding someones family and getting along with them can determine a lot about your relationship. Parents and siblings may not always be so welcoming and that's something that can take a toll on your relationship.

Luckily our, my boyfriend and I, families get along great. Although they can sometimes cause a lot of stress for us, they are precious to both of us. It's important to see how your significant other gets along with your family. I know many couples who have family troubles and it's very hard to stay on good terms with them if they hate their boyfriend or girlfriend.

So when you are looking for that special someone try to keep in mind that they might have to meet your parents, brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles, aunts and grandparents someday and be prepared. You might see a side of your man you thought didn't exist. Lucky for me it's a side I love.

Live your life,

Andi

Also check out the duck tours in Boston! One of the funnest tours I have been on just because my little brother drove the boat!

Photo by Jennifer Rose Photography

Moving in?

There comes a time in one's life, some earlier than others, when the little birdie has to move out of the nest. They start to find their own food, clean their clothes, their house and they begin the process of making their own decisions.

I did this a little early in my own life, but now it's time for some boys I know to step up to the plate. A number of them have been spoiled and some never needed to fend for themselves and still don't. For me, I want to move forward in my relationship and get a few months of practice living together before we make the big move into our own place.

Living with a significant other is a challenge. Not only do you have to come home to each other every day, but you also have to figure out how you merge both of your lives together so that you don't drive each other crazy.

Some tips on handling the move?

1. Communicate!
I can't stress how important it is to talk about the changes in both of your lives. If you talk about your dislikes and be upfront and honest then arguments can run smoother.

2. Contribute.
Dishes, vacuuming, dinner; make the extra effort and help around the house. Both of your lives can get pretty hectic and helping out without asking is always a winning move.

3. Be responsible.
Moving in together is a big deal. Treat each other with respect and remember that you have a home together now and every detail of that is just as important as your relationship.

Live your life,

Andi

Moving on and moving up

Graduation is a time for growing up and moving ahead in life. To some people it can be a new beginning or a chance to practice what you have learned. In kindergarden it was about getting ready for first grade. In high school you were nervous about your plans for college or how to make a living. Graduating college is probably the greatest and most meaningful graduation because you chose it. 

It's time to embrace your future now and leave the past behind. The childish college guys you met are not important anymore. You lived and you learned. It's time now to take what you have learned and use it in your everyday life. 

Here are some tips or things to inspect that will help you spot the right kind of men post graduation. 

1. PARTYING - If he is still partying 5 out of the 7 nights in a week, he probably isn't going to have much time for you. Clearly beer pong is a profession now and you don't want to get in the way of his career. 

2. DATES His dates still consist of college frat parties, 12 am dinner at McDonald's and a lovely drunk invite for a sleep-over  at his dumpy apartment. You have a degree now ladies.  Up your standards just a tad. 

3. JOB - I know the economy is bad, but if he can't even get a job at Starbucks, I don't think he'll be making it big anytime soon. 

4. PARENTS - Living with the parents after college is fine for awhile. We have to somehow pay those college loans off.  But if his Mom is still doing his laundry and bringing him sandwiches, he is still living in a child's world. 

5. CLOTHES - He doesn't own a pair of dress pants or a button down shirt. Didn't they ever go to a semi-formal?

6. HOBBIES -His main idea of fun is playing video games. Time and place man, time and place.  

7. LANGUAGE - His conversations consist of the best way to funnel a beer, stay up all night and make your room appear to be clean, even though it isn't, when your parents come to visit. 

Good luck in finding those new men. It will be tough I'm sure, but well worth it. 

Live life,

Andi

Photo by Jennifer Rose Photography

Second chances, or three or four

Some people don't believe in second chances. I'd say I believe in beating the horse until he's down.

 I have recycled and reused the biggest love I have ever known so many times, I can't even remember how many times we broke up and got back together. Probably as many times as you change your oil. 

That sounds like a bad thing, but honestly if we tried to stay together all those years we wouldn't have evolved into the people we are today. People that maybe now we can truly appreciate and understand. 

I tell other people I know, who don't like second chances, that when you are considering one you should really think about why you're going back. Why is this chance worth it? Have things changed between you that will help the relationship now instead of break it?

Think about these things:

1. If one or the other cheated, can you honestly trust them now? If you haven't forgiven them then how are you going to move forward?

2. The problems you had before, are they still there? Have you accepted them and are willing to work on them if they are still there?

3. Are you willing to change your old habits for new ones? Like staying in with the bf/gf instead of partying all the time?

4. Is this person worth risking your heart again? Do they make you happy enough that when they might fall short, you can live with that?

5. Don't just give someone a second chance if you aren't ready. If I learned that a long time ago maybe we would have had only one break up, instead of 20. 

Second chances are hard to give and receive. If you can't both understand and work on things that used to be problems, things will most likely just die. Both of you have to commit to giving 100% in the relationship. Some of the best marriages were people who took a leap of faith and braved that second chance and look what became of them. Miracles do happen an sometimes a break up is what you needed. Sometimes space and distance helps you realize what you were missing. 

“If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was.”

tupac 

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be."

unkown

Here is to all the second chances in the world that worked out. 

live your life,

andi

The point of hooking up

Seriously, I just don't get it anymore. What is the point of hooking up with someone? What does that even mean? I have come across a few men recently who seem to think that just making out and such is the ONLY thing we need to do together. 

Who made that rule?

Why should I hook up with someone without getting the restof the perks? It's just not fair. I think girls have the right to make guys chase them a little. I don't mean make them jump through hoops or anything, but is it too much to ask a guy to come drive to your house for once? Is it impossible to take a girl out to dinner, ice skating, the movies or just even ask her to do something besides coming over late at night?

People don't want the relationship or the responsibilities that come with dating. If it honestly feels like you have to call them or make plans or act in any certain way, well then they are obviously not the person for you. 

Some people like having just a hook up. Both parties need to be aware of this title though and clear of what each person will get out of it. Otherwise what is the point of hooking up? Isn't it supposed to lead to something else? I thought that was the point, but I guess I'm wrong. 

I guess hooking up can just be hooking up. It's the process of  "getting to know you" as it was put to me. In my opinion the hooking up should come after the getting to know. The physical part of the relationship can alter your mind and mess things up. I can't figure out how it does just yet, but I know that's the problem. I've learned that talking and spending time with them, doing things you both like to do, is a much better way to get to know someone. Then if you still really like them, bring on the physical part :)

Good luck making those decisions because seriously, who doesn't want to hook up with that gorgeous guy you met last week? Follow your hearts but lead with your mind, or at least try to!

Live your life, 

Andi

All the single ladies

Oh yes, completely single again. Valentines Day was just a celebration for single girls around the world, especially at the local bar I went to with my friends that night. They prowled in around 12:00 am and looked about as happy as a cat being skinned. Seriously. My friend and I received countless haunting glances from the young 21-year-old girls because we actually had smiles on our faces. Now of course I wasn't super happy inside that night. I got dumped that week, rejected by another guy who was getting over his ex, and felt as alone as someone could feel on this night. But I held my head up high and was determined to not stay in and watch chick flicks and feel sorry for myself.

I finally feel like being single can be a good thing. I'm focused on school and my career and not worried about anyone else. It's not so bad thinking about myself all the time. Being single doesn't mean I won't go on a date or not grab love when it happens, just that I won't worry about finding someone. I embrace the once dreaded word (single) now and am happy just going out with my friends and doing my own thing.

Of course thats when the comedian Greg Behrendt said is the perfect time for someone to come and fuck it all up. He is the writer of "He's just not that into you" and he finally opened my eyes to things I never understood before.

1. Why women think bad men are good

Because other women tell you that a friend of a cousins friends boyfriend cheated on them but now they are happily married. We have got to stop making excuses for what guys do when they aren't interested. Face it, if a guy doesn't call, cheats on you, ignores you or treats you like shit, then he's not worth it and move on.

2. Don't get married until you are ready or without being 100% sure.

I already knew this one, but it seems a lot of other women don't. It's probably something not on our young minds, but in the back of our head I would say we all think "could I marry this person?" I'm only 22 and I've been proposed to once and almost proposed to another time. So I would say I'm glad I already knew this rule and unserstand that marriage is the biggest deal in the world for me. Something I will never rush into. Probably the only thing I don't rush into.

3. Guys are giving us signs when they don't call, text, or email.

I know it seems like an obvious thing and we should all realize it, but guys have this sneaky way of still keeping you around without doing the work. They might not call or text today, but then a couple days go by and there they are again. Reasons: "Oh I have been busy, I texted you ... you didn't get it?" Or I've experienced the " Oh well you didn't come out and say you wanted to hang out?" I guess girls are supposed to do all the chasing but then we are crazy when do it.

Well I'd like to say I have learned a lot. I have, really. Truth is I have learned so much and I still can't spot the guys who just are not for me. Now that I can read these signs better I think it will be easier to realize HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO ME :)

Live your life,

Andi

Photo by Jennifer Rose

Being second

Most people in life fall in love at least once. That head over heels kind of love that makes you wake up and go to sleep thinking of only them. The kind of love that makes your heat skip beats when you kiss and the kind of love that makes responsibilities go out the window when you're sitting next to each other watching something ridiculous on tv. The kind of love that I think only exists in the books I read. 

It's kind of hard to describe that love when I've never really had it. I mean I have had those feelings when I first meet someone, but eventually it fades, reality sets in and they just never seem to give me that feeling again. 

I wish I could have had that in my life, just once. Then I could understand why a guy treats me as his second best. I could figure out why they can't get let go and why I'm never enough or why he's never enough. It's amazing to witness that love between other people, but the only love I've ever known has been the love that has grown. A boy I loved, but not in the way your supposed to love. My second best has always been him, even though I've never found my first. 

Then I could sit here and be patient and guarded when I start seeing someone. I could be the one to say I want to take things slow because I find it hard to open up again. I have learned to be guarded anyways, but because of all my failed attempts at trying to fall in love. 

Maybe the secret is you just have to wait. It will come along as long as your patient and take things slow, but how in the hell do you do that? I can't help wanting that first love even if I know it's going to leave me someday. 

I just know that I can't be second. I want to come first to someone and hold their attention and I want to feel that way about them. It's not hard for me to put someone else's feelings first, I've been doing it my whole life. I guess there comes a day when you have to start being selfish and stop caring about other people. I guess today is that day. 

I refuse to be someone's second. Don't ever settle people, it gets you no where and it leaves your heart scarred and battered just trying to make someone love you. It doesn't work that way unfortunately, as I have learned, so just be yourself and hope for the best. Don't do things unless you really want to and for once just think about what you want. If you don't succeed, then dust yourself off and try again. :)

Live your life, 

Andi

A new guy

Meeting someone new is always exciting and thrilling, but it's also scary and mysterious. I try not to meet new people because I just don't feel up to the whole idea and process of getting to know someone. I almost always am disappointed or it's over before it starts. 

How can you trust it in the beginning? How do you know it's worth putting yourself out there?

I find that because I have been through the "getting to know" stage over and over, that when I do meet a good guy I doubt it from the first kiss. If I expect nothing then I lose nothing. This way I can't get hurt. 

Is that a good thing though? I mean by the time someone wants to stick around I might be so bitter I would be a miserable girlfriend. I wish I could think positive, but it's so hard when they all start out like this. 

You meet, flirt, and exchange hundreds of cute texts. You talk for hours and can't seem to stop wanting to know more. You light up whenever he calls and you can't get your mind off him. 

That's my favorite part, but in the process of getting to know someone, the questions come. Answers lead to things I might not want to hear or vice versa. But is the chance of finding love worth all that time and effort?

I guess yes, because I keep trying and hoping he'll be the one who keeps me guessing and wondering. I want him to be someone I can hang in and watch movies with or have a night out getting drunk together. I want him to be simple and fun. A nice guy who will just plain want me in all the ways a girl is supposed to. Now is that so hard?

Good luck with that new guy ladies!

Live your life,

Andi

Photo by Jennifer Rose