It's surprising that I have never spent the holidays alone. This is my first one since I was 13 and it's not as bad as I thought it would be, but it's definitely still lonely as hell.
I can't stop thinking and dreaming of my summer love. As much as it hurts and stings he still shows up in my dreams and I hate/love it. I just wish we got a chance just to hang out or go snowboarding. For New Years I promise to really try and get over him. It's a new start, a new beginning, and a chance to start over.
I'm graduating, working, and moving to NYC next winter hopefully. I have a lot going for me. I have great friends that have stuck around, despite how much trouble I am. I just know this year has a lot to look forward to.
Even with all of that, I still get down around the holidays. All those awesome love christmas songs about sharing it with someone special. I wish I had that right now. I know I have to be patient and just let it come, but I just think everyone feels this way around this time when they don't have someone.
Well I know one thing, I am more than happy just to spend some time with my family and hang around the house. It means more to me than anything to see my little brother open his presents on Christmas morning with that look of excitement and awe.
That's who Christmas is for anyways. The little kids make it worth while and I love sitting there watching him get so excited to see what he got. I remember that exact feeling and I sometimes wish I was a little kid again, sitting in front of that big tree just waiting for Santa to arrive.
Merry Christmas everyone, appreciate what you have and don't take anything for granted. Don't worry about being single on Christmas, because one day you'll have a family to share it with every year too.
Live your life,
Photo by Kris de Curtis