Missing my Soldier

Photo Credit: Amy Elizabeth Studios

I never thought I would be able to watch a complete play by play of my husband’s job on TV. Soldiers blowing up bombs on a daily basis and risking their lives for 365 days isn’t something you really want to see after your favorite show, Gossip Girl, ends at 9. But there he is, that young EOD technician steering the robot to the number one killer in America, the IED. I can’t help but imagine his face on so and so’s body joking around and laughing how they almost got their team killed, again. I try to think of when we laughed like that so long ago.

 It’s in times like this where my mind drifts to the memory of his husky deep voice whispering he loves me as he kisses me on the forehead and says sweet dreams. I can still remember the sweet smell of his cologne on our pillow after he left for PT, before the sun shined over my eyelids.  I can still hear the voices and commotion of other soldiers outside getting ready for another day of life in the Army.

I rolled over and moaned because I could never fall asleep after he leaves. “Cover your eyes babe,” he said as I grunted and threw the blankets over my head as the blazing light flickered on above my head. Why can’t he be organized and have things ready in the morning, just for once? I guess its part of his charm as a man.

It’s sad that I would give anything for that right now. To fight over the remote, argue over who’s turn it is to do the dishes or for the simple act of cleaning up after him.  I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than to just be next to him, right now, breathing in the same free American air.

I just want him back. Back in my life, living life along side with me and not living a million miles away in danger and sand. Miles of sand. But this is what I signed up for, this is my life and I’d do it all over again for the chance to say I do a million times more. He is my soul mate my other half; he’s my whole world. I can’t imagine how tough it is for him over there fighting in this war away from everything he knows and loves. I don’t know how he does it and puts up with me everyday at the same time. He’s pretty amazing I must say.

I only have to be patient just a little longer, which is defiantly not my strongest trait. Hell it’s not even a trait I have. Yet I have to stay strong each and everyday and put faith in God; that he will come home safe and love me just the same if not more. What an accomplishment we will have after this year apart. One I can be proud of and tell our children someday of how Mommy and Daddy made it and their love was stronger than ever. I can’t wait for that day.

Live Life,

Mrs. K