Moving on and moving up

Graduation is a time for growing up and moving ahead in life. To some people it can be a new beginning or a chance to practice what you have learned. In kindergarden it was about getting ready for first grade. In high school you were nervous about your plans for college or how to make a living. Graduating college is probably the greatest and most meaningful graduation because you chose it. 

It's time to embrace your future now and leave the past behind. The childish college guys you met are not important anymore. You lived and you learned. It's time now to take what you have learned and use it in your everyday life. 

Here are some tips or things to inspect that will help you spot the right kind of men post graduation. 

1. PARTYING - If he is still partying 5 out of the 7 nights in a week, he probably isn't going to have much time for you. Clearly beer pong is a profession now and you don't want to get in the way of his career. 

2. DATES His dates still consist of college frat parties, 12 am dinner at McDonald's and a lovely drunk invite for a sleep-over  at his dumpy apartment. You have a degree now ladies.  Up your standards just a tad. 

3. JOB - I know the economy is bad, but if he can't even get a job at Starbucks, I don't think he'll be making it big anytime soon. 

4. PARENTS - Living with the parents after college is fine for awhile. We have to somehow pay those college loans off.  But if his Mom is still doing his laundry and bringing him sandwiches, he is still living in a child's world. 

5. CLOTHES - He doesn't own a pair of dress pants or a button down shirt. Didn't they ever go to a semi-formal?

6. HOBBIES -His main idea of fun is playing video games. Time and place man, time and place.  

7. LANGUAGE - His conversations consist of the best way to funnel a beer, stay up all night and make your room appear to be clean, even though it isn't, when your parents come to visit. 

Good luck in finding those new men. It will be tough I'm sure, but well worth it. 

Live life,

Andi

Photo by Jennifer Rose Photography

Second chances, or three or four

Some people don't believe in second chances. I'd say I believe in beating the horse until he's down.

 I have recycled and reused the biggest love I have ever known so many times, I can't even remember how many times we broke up and got back together. Probably as many times as you change your oil. 

That sounds like a bad thing, but honestly if we tried to stay together all those years we wouldn't have evolved into the people we are today. People that maybe now we can truly appreciate and understand. 

I tell other people I know, who don't like second chances, that when you are considering one you should really think about why you're going back. Why is this chance worth it? Have things changed between you that will help the relationship now instead of break it?

Think about these things:

1. If one or the other cheated, can you honestly trust them now? If you haven't forgiven them then how are you going to move forward?

2. The problems you had before, are they still there? Have you accepted them and are willing to work on them if they are still there?

3. Are you willing to change your old habits for new ones? Like staying in with the bf/gf instead of partying all the time?

4. Is this person worth risking your heart again? Do they make you happy enough that when they might fall short, you can live with that?

5. Don't just give someone a second chance if you aren't ready. If I learned that a long time ago maybe we would have had only one break up, instead of 20. 

Second chances are hard to give and receive. If you can't both understand and work on things that used to be problems, things will most likely just die. Both of you have to commit to giving 100% in the relationship. Some of the best marriages were people who took a leap of faith and braved that second chance and look what became of them. Miracles do happen an sometimes a break up is what you needed. Sometimes space and distance helps you realize what you were missing. 

“If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was.”

tupac 

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be."

unkown

Here is to all the second chances in the world that worked out. 

live your life,

andi