Have you ever waited on a man?

9.24.2008

Best and Worst Pet names 2008

"Come here my little piggly wiggly!"

"What are you up to today pooh-bear?"

Oh yeah, they're real. Loving couples actually call each other these names. I don't know why we tend to feel that we have to call our significant other anything but their real name, but something in our tongues, perhaps a tingly wiggly feeling, makes us utter ridiculous, multiple syllable pet names. Don't we have enough to remember, like to bring my lunch to work today?

Some of us, who can form tender, cute nicknames, come up with beautiful substitutes. Maybe because our significant other has a boring name that SUCKS. It's acceptable to have a nickname as long as it ... A) doesn't make you jump behind a bush when exiting the crowded Park Street train station, B) make you believe you should have been reincarnated as an animal, and C) think you should have been baked instead of born.

I've rounded up the top 10 Best and Worst pet names for our generation and would love you out there to add any if you can. They will make you laugh, cry (because you know you called your boyfriend that yesterday), and maybe make you want to tell your beloved friends to seriously cut that shit out and offer them a new one.

Oh you twenty three boys, how you have offered me so much yet so little. I had to get some help on these ones! :) Until next situation, or later this week, I am out.

Best Pet Names 2008

1. Sweetie- can't go wrong with this one.
2. Sweetheart- Every woman likes hearts.
3. Baby girl- One of my personal favorites. I almost feel like I'm a ghetto superstar.
4. Beautiful- Classic and effective.
5. Hollywood- You boys love to feel like you're on top of the world. Perfect for a macho macho man.
6. Rock star- Everyone can at least play guitar hero, this makes them feel like they have a fan base.
7. Princess- Now all we need is all your money and we will be all set.
8. Honey- Not too shabby, but don't say it in a whiney voice. Could be taken as , "Honey! Where did you get those shoes!" This is for couples, not gay friends, Lo Siento. :)
9. Bonita- Come on anything in a different language is hot.
10. Sexy- since the era of Justin Timberlake this pet name will always be bringing it back.

Worst Pet Names 2008 ( Might have more to come)

1. Monkey- Do we have hair all over our bodies? If you do, stop reading and please attend to necessary errands.
2. Wifey/Hubby- I know you guys are in love and you feel like you're on cloud 9. Stop, it won't last long and unless you really are married, lets stick with boyfriend and girlfriend.
3. Muffin/Strawberry/Peach (Pretty much any fruit or anything edible)- No I don't want to be eaten or be topped with whip cream; whole different topic.
4. Momo (Short for moron)/Riri short for retard)- Oh yes I know these well. It almost sounds cute when you say it out loud, then you think about what it means, unless you really fit the description.
5. Pumpkin- I am not Cinderella nor will I ever be. I'm a brunette, geez.
6. Chickie- I was not born in a coup, neither were you unless your previous nickname was hen. In that case I feel deeply for you.
7. Darling- Again this list is for 2008. If this was the 50's this would have made the Best list. Since it is not, nix it.
8. Any other name besides yours- A common mistake I'm sure. Mostly in bed?
9. G / F or B / F (Not to be pronounced as boyfriend or girlfriend but the actual letters)-Got to cut back on the texting lingo, we all have names!
10. Pudge- I'm serious, I owe it all to my favorite ex and I'm not fat, I swear.

Oh boys, twenty three boys, or 59, 37, 334, whatever it is, there isn't enough in this world to satisfy us WOMEN. See you next time, next problem, next stupid boy.

14 comments:

Nicole said...

Like it.

Monkey said...

this is more of the awesome writing i expect from you >.<

i especially like the whole "baked rather than born" thing haha

Anonymous said...

bitter much? just cause you have a problem keeping a relationship doesnt mean everyone else is the same way.

Andi said...

I know that, but that's why this blog is for people who have had a hard time with relationships. I'm glad you have had positive experiences. Thanks for the feedback.

David said...

Oh man I absolutely hate wifey and hubby. If you aren't married and you use those names it seems like it would jinx the relationship doesn't it?

Andi said...

Most definitely David :)

Josh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Josh said...

Awesome!!! Simply Awesome!!! I have always hated people using pet names and finally someone is really pointing it out.....why when people are in the puppy love stage of the relationship do they have to talk to each other like they actually are a puppy?? Ahh gru my mufffy scruff crap talk in full words we are people not puppys or babys.....GREAT POST

Momo McRiri said...

Being called monkey in public is about as disgustingly embarrassing as being nailed by chucked chimp poop.

Now Tits McGee, Chesty LeReux or even Hootie McBoob.. those are nick names I could support.
haha jk! but seriously good writing, it made me laugh out loud =]

Anonymous said...

have fun being single bitch . nicknames are cute no matter what they are ( as long as they are not demeaning or rude) . god your stupid .

HappySol said...

Wow....sense of humor much? Guess not....lol. This post was not only cutr, but hilarious! Some people need not take life so serious...a post about nicknames, actually caused you to call the author out of her name?? Must have really got under your skin....lol.

Well, I appreciated this blog. THANKS. (=

TheLittleLadie said...

I like all of these, except for darling. It's a wonderful thing to be called in private, intimate moments. It's my absolute favorite.
Otherwise, I love this :)

Anna Kavanaugh said...

thanks guys! For some reason this post gets the most hits lol going to try and get back in the swing and maybe post a 2012 list of something hmmmm

Anonymous said...

to anonymous nov 14 2011..
Its you're or you are...not your..

Btw..the post is awesome..
Nice work.
L

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