Yes, I have been singing this song for more than a month now and I just can't stop. It's ironic that a guy, Ne-yo, sings this because I highly doubt most men want an independent woman.
Do they really want a girl who acts like she doesn't need them? In my experience it's hard to find someone who appreciates those qualities.
Society in the past has tried to force the people to believe that men and women have different roles. One is supposed to be the dominant, strong leader; the person who lets say "wears the pants." The other is the feminine, sweet, caring, and fragile person who are taking care of everyone.
Some people like to identify with these roles and are perfectly happy to confirm to a role. As for me I'm as far from being one or the other than anyone else could be. I'm sick of being called "the guy" or "the asshole" because I'm just being who I am.
I'm a person who might have both personality traits rather than just be "the man" or "the woman" in a relationship. It's true I know how to hang with the guys and not care if I get a little dirty. It's also true I love getting flowers and being swept off my feet.
What bothers me most is being labeled.
I'm sure guys hate it when girls say "oh you're such a guy!" Guy's can't even do some things because people will associate it as acting like girl, or being too emotional. There is a certain standard men are supposed to uphold. One that I guess I'm upholding as a woman?
What is the role of a guy anyways?
The bible, which is so outdated I don't see how I am supposed to follow it, talks about a husband's role as being the provider and the head of the household.
1 Timothy 5:8 "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."
1 Timothy 2:12 "I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet."
Come on Timothy? Is that all we are good for?
Women's roles are perceived as the caretaker and the weaker one.
1 Peter 3:1-6 "Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, ..."
Don't get me wrong I believe in God, but I just can't see how I am supposed to submit to men. There is no way I would ever do that. I'm my own person and I belong to me. I guess when I get married I will have to share myself, but I will never be put into a category where I have to act a certain way.
If I want to play football, I'm sure as hell going to do it and score some sweet passes while I'm at it.
If I want to hook up with a guy and never see him again, I'm going to do it.
If I want to drive 3 hours to see a guy, guess what, I'm going to do it.
If I want to pay for a meal, drive a guy somewhere, not be in a relationship, blow off plans, or dump someone, well there is just one thing to say, I'm going to do it.
I don't think those things make me a "guy" but it sure describes parts of me. I was sick and tired of playing the dame and being the caretaker just because I was expected to.
Now it's all about me and what I want. I'm sorry if that makes me a "guy" in some people's minds, but as Ne-yo says, he loves Miss Independent, and I'd say that I'm that kind of girl.
So ladies, it's ok if you are a typical girl, we still need you around because a lot of men want that, and I mean A LOT. As for the people who don't care what type of person they are as long as they are true to themselves, then keep on going and do what you do best.
You don't need a man, but there sure are nice to have around. There are some things they can do that we will never be able to do; like hold us so tight because they never want to let us go.
Just remember that when you start depending on anyone but yourself.
Live your life,
Photo by Jennifer Rose Photography